If you saw my blog, One of My Persons, I dropped a little bomb on you. Sorry about that. I also told you at the end of that blog that I was not going to make this a cancer blog. I did decide that from time to time I would mention it, address any issues that arise with it and offer any small insights that I’ve learned along the way, keeping in mind that fashion, footwear and problem solving when it comes to dressing women will always be the crux of what I write about. This however, is one of those times that I wanted to share with you an experience I had on my way to surgery. 

When my Dad died 10 years ago, someone told me to watch for the God moments, or God winks. These are moments (if you are paying attention) when God gives you a little reminder of your loved one or a little instance where you know God is with you. He’s got you. You aren’t in this alone. I try to watch for them. I love when I have a dream about my Dad or someone else who has also passed. I love it when someone tells me a story, or I see something that gently reminds me that I’m not in charge.

My husband and I went into the One Day Surgery at Atrium for my lumpectomy last week. I was nervous and quiet. He was nervous but in charge. He was being the rock I needed without me knowing I needed it. Neither one of us knew what to expect, and I was feeling especially nervous having never gone under anesthesia. Geoff was going to have to wait in the waiting room during the entire process and not see me again until he brought the car around. We both didn’t like that as I would have enjoyed his humor during all the awkward moments of gown changing, IV running and doctor/nurse visits. He would have offered well-placed boob jokes. He would have reassured me as I stressed about the procedure. He would have told me when my gown was open in the back. I needed him! 

But you know with Covid, all the rules have changed. There are certain doors you can only enter and others that are exit only. There are temperature checks, clearance wristbands and mask changes. Normally, I go through these minor inconveniences without a thought. But on this day, during that time, I had a God moment. As we walked toward the main doors we followed another twosome who were also having a surgery that day. They approached the doors and turned around and left, saying nothing. We then approached the doors, read the sign that said, Exit Only and wished they had told us we couldn’t go in those doors. Slightly annoyed, we walked to the proper door and met two ladies who were screening everyone as they entered. The first one checked my name off the list and took our temperatures. She was smiling and enjoying the job with her buddy who stood next to her. The buddy then placed the clearance wristband on my arm and paused. She was pretty with brown curls and a gleam in her eye. She locked eyes on me and asked where we were going in the building. Geoff and I both mumbled something about the 1st floor/One Day Surgery. She smiled, grabbed my hands and said, “You are going to shine today, aren’t you?” I almost started crying in her arms right then and there. I don’t know if I’ve ever heard that phrase before. I know I’ve never used it. But now, it’s a phrase I am adding to my repertoire. She “saw” me. She saw my vulnerability. Like, Geoff, she gave me what I needed when I didn’t know I needed it. We had a God moment, and I’m so thankful we did. Those words filled me with renewed energy and confidence during a moment when I had neither. I wish I had caught her name. I may try and track her down to thank her because she probably doesn’t know the impact she had on me. Or maybe she knew exactly what she was doing, and I want her to know that I, too, “saw” her. 

So I guess this post is a reminder to you to look for those God moments. While you are out running around in your cute clothes and new spring shoes, consider offering someone a kind word or two. If you see someone walking to a door you know is an exit, save them a few steps and tell/show them where the entrance is. When you see someone who looks worried or stressed, pause, look them in the eyes and tell them, “ You are going to shine today, aren’t you?”.

If you are able, please consider donating to Carolina Breast Friends; an organization that embraces the breast cancer community in a positive environment by providing resources and education through fellowship and mentoring during any stage of the journey.

Oh by the Way, here are a few items that have gotten me through the last couple of weeks. Consider them for yourself or someone else who may need some extra attention.