One of my Persons

If you have teenage daughters, then you have watched and rewatched ALL of Grey’s Anatomy. I hate to admit it, but I do still love it and always slow down to watch just a few minutes of whatever episode is currently on the television. One of my takeaways from the show is having “a person.” Cristina Yang and Meredith Gray were each other’s “person.” Their go-to gal in good times and bad. I’ve always encouraged my girls, and now my son, to have “a person.” But really, we need several. There’s the friend who is fun to shop with. Then there’s the friend who you like to drink wine with and be silly. There’s your oldest friend(s) who knows absolutely everything about you, so sharing with them is easy and free flowing without the need for any background details. I also love my neighborhood “persons” who I’ve raised kids with and dropped soup at their doors when they are sick. I have several fairly new “persons” who I love to travel with now that our kids are older. 

But I recently discovered, after getting some difficult news, that I also count my hairdresser as one of my “persons.” We’ve been together for 18 years! I have nursed my newborn baby in her chair while discussing politics, cooking or acupuncture. She inspires me to try new things and stop drinking Diet Coke. But our last visit was a defining moment for both of us. I went in for my usual cut and color. I’ve been Covid BLONDE for several months now. Just a way to brighten up my mood while locked down. She asked me what I wanted to do with my hair, and I told her to do whatever she thought was best. “Well,” she said, “I think we should probably darken you up a bit. You’ve gotten very blonde.” At that moment, I burst into tears. “I was diagnosed with breast cancer last week,” I said. “I know it’s going to be okay, but you can’t darken my hair while I’m dealing with this!” I’m sure she was taken by surprise, but with her usual style and grace, she responded, “Oh my gosh! Of course you can’t be!” From that moment on, we laughed and cried and mapped out a strategy for the next few weeks while I awaited my first doctor’s appointment. She knew me and I knew her. I asked her to help me think of ways to improve my health so I’ll be in tip top shape for the lumpectomy and radiation. She helped me realize that maybe I should talk to someone. She helped me see that it’s okay to not be okay. 

Since my hair appointment and recent diagnosis, all of my “persons” have been so supportive. They are all amazing, strong women who I admire. They all seem to know what to say and do. But the twist has been that the one I like to shop with has really been great at sending me a little song to perk me up or just a text to check in. The ones I enjoy drinking wine with have also cried with me and helped me stay distracted with a yummy lunch. My oldest buddies are setting up Zoom calls and trips. And my sweet hairdresser is keeping me Covid blonde. So, I guess the silver lining in this news is that my go-to gals offer all kinds of gifts, some in unexpected ways. We don’t need a “person.” We need many “persons,” and I am so thankful for every single one of them. 

Oh by the way, here are some of their recommendations, in case you know someone going through something similar. Or maybe you just need some tools for yourself. Either way, I have been grateful for all of these methods of distraction. 

Oh by the way part 2, I may occasionally post about this new path I’m on, but I promise this blog isn’t going to become a cancer blog. Clothes and shoes are way more fun to talk about!