My palms are sweaty, butterflies in my stomach. What if they think I’m weird? What if no one talks to me? What will I do if I have to sit by myself? I wrestled with these questions as I sat in my car waiting for my son to finish up his first practice with his new soccer team. At the age of 50, I didn’t think I would still be worrying about making new friends! Heck, I’ve even used the line, “I don’t need any new friends; I can’t keep up with the ones I’ve got!” But in truth, I enjoy meeting new people and love having buddies to hang with on trips to happening towns where the only things happening are soccer, volleyball or lacrosse. 

We just got home from our first “away” tournament to Raleigh. I was excited to get back on the road for sports but also a little hesitant because this was not only a new team for my son, but a new set of parents for me. What I’ve come to realize about myself over the years is that I long for connection. I can’t just take him to a tournament and happily sit in the room or by myself on the sidelines. I get energy from talking to the other parents, cheering with the other parents and having a glass of wine in the lobby with the parents. 

What my son and I soon realized is that a lot of these kids have played together for years. Friendships have already been solidified; carpools already formed. He had to find his place in this new environment and with this new coach. He was a little uncertain for a time. His coach pushed him to new limits. I sat and watched as my son was finding his path slowly. I too was going down a new path. I felt like I just joined a new school and knew no one. I was a little lonesome but busied myself with writing blogs, talking on the phone and listening to my new book, The Black Count, on Audible. A couple of friendly Dads lured me out of my car a few times to talk soccer and tease me for my makeshift car office. 

I have always encouraged my children to be accepting of others and make new friends everywhere they go. I often reminded them how it feels to be left out. They responded and thankfully they now have a great group of friends. But suddenly, the tables turned, and they were encouraging me! “Mom, get out there and chat them up!” “Mom, you can do this, just try!” So, I decided to take their advice. I met a team Mom at the Target during a practice. Then she introduced me to another couple of Moms. Those friendly Dads introduced me to their wives. It was working! Soon, I had friends to sit with during games, couples to sit with in the lobby. My son soon had a pack of boys with whom he palled around. I delighted in watching him tease the other boys, and they teased him. This new team was gelling – the boys and the parents!

One of the perks of being older is self-awareness. I, like most people, want to be accepted and liked. But for that to happen, I need to put myself out there. We all should. Covid has kept us prisoners in our houses for too long! So I guess this blog is just to remind you that you are never too old to make a new friend. But don’t use your age as an excuse not to try. 

Oh by the way, here are a couple of new books my son and I are reading in my car – not because I’m hiding but because sometimes it’s just too cold to stand outside and talk soccer!